I'm soooo kicked with my new layout..I absolutely love it! Thanks a ton "Lemonade"..Wish I could tell the world who u really are. It's the perfect going away gift I say :) Thank u.. thank u.. thank u..I promise I'll keep blogging..just so you know what I'm upto ;) I'm going to miss you heaps and heaps aswell :( I have no idea how it's going to be without all your mental-ness..I'm so so used to having you around that it's going to be so damn hard for me :( I'm all sad now..Actually got tears in my eyes..I love u babe and always will..no matter which part of the world we go.You will always be one of my bestesttt...Big huggg..

Today -..I don't know if it's just irony or my luck..five friends..FIVE..decided to call and give me a yelling of a lifetime. I was basically told that I'm selfish, arrogant, got an attitude problem n a B*tch for not returning calls! Apparently,I'm the only one who's self obsessed n live in this tiny little bubble called MY WORLD! May be I haven't been returning calls or texting back..but lately all I want to do is be by myself..but no one seems to understand that.. For 3 years all I've done is put everyone's problems before mine..so much so, I've neglected myself. I think it's only fair to give myself this much deserved break. I'm done with college, got just one month to go before I move out of this city and get back to studying(postgrad) and working. Sigh..Am I the only one who feels this way? Or am I really selfish?

Mom figured that I was really low this evening..I was in such a crabby mood..the sweetheart that she is..she took me out shopping to make me feel better..did it help? Duh! Buying clothes definitely helps. And I figured if my friends actually thought I was being a bitch..that's their problem..not mine. If I don't get this break..I'll probably turn out to be a bigger b*tch! So I guess it's a win-win situation here..right?

How's it up there? I miss u so freakin' much monkey boy!! I'm sure the Lord got u theMacBook Pro and ur showing off with ur photoshop skills! Guess what..ur prediction came true..U.K's not happenin anymore..I changed my mind..I'm moving to Bangalore next month..hmmm..I wish I could jus pick up the phone n call u..We miss u G-boy..esp the 3 of us..U wanna know the truth? When u passed away..there was this void deep inside..people said "Time will Heal!" It's been nearly a year and that just doesn't seem to be happening! I was absolutely helpless..even now looking at our Kodai pics and videos make me cry..cycling by the lake..jus the 4 of us..sitting in the cold singing n u strumming the guitar..the sugar cube game..dancing around the bonfire.. sitting up till 4 in the morn craving for hot chocolate..playing soccer n u refusing the other guys from getting in the game since u were kicking my ass.. I jus refuse to believe ur not here anymore.

Going back to college after u passing away was awful..For God's Sake we used to sit next to each other in class..I was completely oblivious of what was happening around me..n u know how me n being spaced so don't go together..all the hyper-ness jus happened to go away..I had my soul sucked out the day the day u left! Even when we came to see u at the mortuary..u jus lay there smiling at us..! :( I love u G..u were an amazing friend..u stood by me,made me laugh when I was low,u got me loving the small things in life..I have nothing but gratitude and love for u! You really are the Golden light on the husks of grain !

The last time we were 2gether u bugged the hell outta me to sing for u.. i jus refused n ran away ..I really wish I had this..this one's for u G..

Don't get too excited..It's by Nickelback..I didn't come up with it..wish u were here to play the guitar for me though..Bob's playing all the wrong chords...see u when I see u.. mwah!

This jus so happened to be my best birthday ever..it started off with a couple of my really close friends frm college landing up home wid a birthday cake n singing happy birthday..full on rock style..! I was jus lying down in bed in my PJ's n one tank top on the phone..staring at my nails..! This definitely was a suprise..Suprised wud be an understatement..I had this blank look on my face..apparently mom n dad knew they were doing this for me! The cake smashing had to happen..after which mom told them some really embarassing stories of me..I really didnt mind since I was jus so god damn happy! Got some few calls n then went off to bed..!

Then my best frnd (Pallu) calls n says "Come home..I wanna take u out shopping..!"There was soo much to do at home since i was having a dinner for a couple of frndz..anyway I had to go..itz shopping..me saying NO to shopping..hellloooo..not happening! Yea so I landed up at her place n then her mom jus doesnt let of me..she jus talks to me about random things..then I walk into my Palu's room..and I see more then 25 ppl there..! It was the sweetest thing ever..my closest school friends n Palu's cousins were there..n her older sister helped wid the planning..it was the sweetest thing ever..her lil cousins made me a card..sang for me..smashed cake on my face..n the whole ordeal! I ran back home helped mom out like a little..poor thing got home early from work n cooked for more than 25 people..oh n btw..shez the best cook ever..anyone who's eaten her food..swears by it! Bro called in from San Fransisco spoke to me for like an hour or so..god damnit I miss him sooo much..really wished he could have been there! :(

Well.. then dinner happened..ppl started coming in by 7:30...there was enough booze for everyone..dad helped wid everything..mom was stuck in the kitchen as usual..n I was sittin in my room singing with everyone..everything went off really well..the food was awesome..everyone were in..ahem..high spirits..they were singing n dancing n posing n jumping around..everything happened! Except for a frnd who look all flustered..he kept runnin out wid his phone..talkin to a couple of friends who looked worried aswell..I was so frustrated by the end of it..n wanted to know wht the hell was happening..well unfortunately, I ruined another suprise they were supposed to throw me at a night club.. friends from college turned up there n ppl I worked wid at JWT..the whole dinner plan ruined it! Oh well..I was jus so touched that they took the extra step to make it so special for me..but no one wanted to leave..coz everyone were like I said..really tipsy..drivin that way was so not happening! So we stayed back..had this karaoke session..spoke about everything under the sun..n then it was time to leave since a really good friend of mine (Za) was leaving the city..we ended up being super emotional..n yeah we cried a hell of a lot..we've been there for each other for 3 whole years..like literally lived each others lives..we jus hugged n cried n cried n cried..all this in my hall...when the rest of them didnt know what was happening..they were jus sooooo drunk :)

Everyone left at 2 in the morn.. well..it still wasnt over..I had the presents to open..got some jewellery frm mom n dad..got both seasons of PRISON BREAK from a friend..gift vouchers..clothes..a plant..n tons of other things..I got more than i could have imagined!


I thought it was time to do some soul searching now ..Rite.! Soul Searching my ass! I sat in bed n thought think about what this really meant to me..Gratitude n love was all I had for every single friend of mine who helped make it my best birthday ever ..n then there this weird silence..I stared blankly at the wall..looking spaced out when it jus hit me..IM EFFIN 20! It all just ended with a bang..! Do u want to know what happened after that? Well..Nothing, I jus slept!